After pumping yourself up with big goals and even bigger expectations, you meet with that familiar friend again – discouragement.
It’s not like you didn’t try this time. You listened to the podcasts and even asked others for advice.
So why are you still struggling to overcome this mental game of winning out here?
The truth is that you’ve gotten too desperate.
Now hol up. I feel justified to be real because for the last month I’ve been super desperate too.
It’s like we want the pain of the process to go away so bad that we suppress who we are for who we think we should be.
But the forever gag is: Chasing the things that you hope will make you feel good is blocking you of everything you are desperate to have.
I know you see your idols poppin’ on Insta and flexin in their purpose.
How did they get there? How did they find the perfect amount of act right to finally put the pieces together of their destiny?
Well, they first stopped reading Rob Kardashian and Blac ‘Scam Em All’ Chyna’s episodes. THEN they stopped believing the hype.
The Biggest Lie That You Believe About Success
Before I got to Las Vegas, before my “dream job” as a publicist, I sat desperately in my mama’s living room ready to get to the next level.
Little did I know that none of that would fill the emptiness I still had once I got there.
I thought that finally getting the job and a new start would bring me the peace I had been searching for.
I was wrong.
For months after I moved I still felt unhappy. Smiling on the outside, I hid the fact that I felt crazy because I still wasn’t satisfied.
People who struggle with staying positive often have the same beliefs as I struggle with:
“If I can just get that one thing (bae, dream job, money, clothes, friends) then I will be straight, big fella.“
And that ya’ll is some utter BS.
The truth is that running to these outer things to confirm your inner identity will never make you happy.
The inner work is where it all begins. That’s the key to your penthouse of happiness.
11 Ways To Hang On To Positivity When You’re Ready to Quit
I was doing it wrong this whole time.
It wasn’t until I got out of my little fantasy and into some actionable steps that things began to shift for me.
Success didn’t define me anymore. I defined success by learning who I was and what I honestly wanted. This process of understanding my identity has become way more fulfilling than any goal off a New Year’s list.
I know it’s hard but you have to get out of your head and into some action. That’s how your favorite celebrity or role model magically got what they wanted.
But even still, I struggle. This past month I totally rebelled and got so far off of my goals.
At first I was just busy and time got away from me but the further I lost control the harder it got to get my head above water. I stopped eating right. Stopped focusing on my money and even stopped writing.
I was SO close to giving up. But I didn’t.
If you are feeling close to the edge and ready to quit like I was, then today is right on time. I created a list of 11 inspiring ways (that I use) to get positive and take action when you find yourself ready to give up:
Visualize Ya Future Best Life
This will probably be the hardest thing to do on this list.
As kids we came armed and ready with dreams. We could turn into monkeys by putting on a fur coat or Aaliyah by shades we stole from our mama. But somewhere along the way we stopped dreaming and began learning that living in “reality” was safer.
It’s time to put your kid hat on and visualize a life bigger than yourself right now. You’ve literally been playing yourself by allowing your imagination to be tied to a 9-5 desk and a happy hour with watered down drinks.
Write down a day in your best life. That could include a diamond in the back, sun roof top, diggin’ the scene with a – you know the rest. Read that everyday until you start to believe it’s possible.
Review Your Goals Daily
What has messed me up the most is that I can create a goal all day but once I close that notebook I totally forget it.
Reviewing your goals daily will create a constant reminder for the things you need to accomplish. It will also keep you motivated to push through.
Stick To Your Word
Speaking of pushing through, You MUST keep your word when you make goals. There is such a powerful feeling about crossing off something on your to-do list that you almost let Power distract you with.
A good practice I have started using is the Pomodoro Technique. It encourages you to grind it out for 25 minutes with a 5 minute break in between. You can apply this to a workout, looking for jobs, working on a side hustle or anything you need to get serious about.
Breaking it up in time increments can ease the overwhelm and put you in a happier state.
Remember Your Childhood
Did you tear up lunchables as a child and watch All That faithfully?
Going back to the idea of honoring your childlike state, indulging in old favorites can boost moods immediately. We all have that inner child that is ready to break free from what people think and what our parents expect from us. That child wants to run rampant and free and you must let it.
Make a list of all the things you loved as a kid and pick a few to do. I loved skating (and tried to be fast at the Skatium) so I went to a rink in town and had the time of my life. Let that kid’s freedom flag fly.
Go Over Your Wins
Do you have a wins folder? You should.
From the email I received when I got hired at my job to a nice note a reader sent to me, I keep everything. When I feel really down, looking over these wins remind me why I do all that I do. Keep a folder in your phone or on your computer and reference it frequently.
Listen To Your Authentic Playlist
From Trick Daddy to Charlie Wilson, I have the craziest playlist but when I listen to it I automatically start laughing. If you have any account like Spotify, Tidal or Apple Music, create a playlist of songs that will always get you hype no matter your mood.
This is going to be your go-to list for times when you are ready to say forget it.
Create A Schedule
Every morning I take 20 minutes to plan out my day. Setting the intention for how I want my day to go has really helped me stay on course and also not feel as overwhelmed.
Take An Exercise Class
This is a little different than working out on your own. For me at least, I find that I go harder in a workout if I have someone guiding me (and no distractions like watching a Rih video on a leg machine instead).
I recently took an OrangeTheory class and instantly got energized by the music and the teacher’s instruction. I’ve found that when I’m pushed to do more, I instantly feel stronger and more confident in myself. Find a class that you’ve always wanted to try. If it’s your first time they usually offer a free class or a drop in rate.
Read a Book
Let’s be real. Most people hate reading. It takes up WAY too much time and effort.
But the day I started reading consistently, I instantly became a more interesting, motivated and a more focused person.
My college professor once told the class that reading was the most effective way to attract success. It’s so hard to make time for reading but you are losing growth opps when you don’t. I’m a huge self-help book junkie but from business to biographies it’s worth it to pick up some new knowledge that has scientifically proven to calm stress.
I found this site that even offers a variety of free books online.
Write a Rap
This one seems stupid as hell but every time I make someone write a rap they immediately laugh and get out of their sucky mood.
It’s a way to be creative and helps you to look at your situation in a totally different way. Literally just talk about your frustrations, situations or even somebody that really deserves a cuss out but you know you better than that.
Now being from the South, I have a bajillion instrumentals I could suggest as your background music, but you’re ALWAYS solid with some TI, Paul Wall or UGK haha.
Go To God Always
I instantly know when I am drifting from God’s truth because that’s when I become the most frazzled, overwhelmed and raggedy.
Our OG loves us so much that he has already laid out the plan. All we have to do is prepare our hearts, mind and feet to chase after them.
I have tried to fill myself up with attention, to-do lists and wins but the reality is that none of that matters if we don’t know who we are. I truly believe that God can’t work without you. He needs you to stay the course so that he can transform not only your life but others’ through you.
A verse that is snatching me right now is:
“We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.” – Hebrews 6:11
Just take my wig , God. TAKE IT.
Try a day fast where you only listen to music that feeds your soul, listen to encouraging messages and stay off of social. You need that cleanse to declutter your heart so that God can place a renewed vision and spirit.
The Bottom Bottom Line
Are ya’ll still with me? Some people probably didn’t make it to the end of this post haha.
But there lies the problem. We quit when things get too hard or too much effort is required of us. You have to promise yourself that this time will be different.
That you won’t gas yourself up, get to the line of success and turn around. Pain is necessary, ya’ll.
And as I preach to you, I’m preaching to myself. Opportunity and your best life are literally a positive action away.
Don’t you want to know what it’s like to not live in limbo? To not live paycheck to paycheck? To not just survive?
You’re almost there. Let’s glow. TOGETHA.