Can we take a real moment of silence to acknowledge how struggle bus 2016 was? Not just personally, but our society was a sneeze close to bursting in flames.
ONE Ah-CHOO AWAY.
Trump, Muhammed Ali, riots, Mariah Carey (let us pray), PRINCE. The year really tried it. So for the sake of your sanity, I think a bounce back talk is absolutely necessary. It is way past time for us to be winning.
When I reflect over this past year, I realize that although I had some great wins, I also took some very capital L’s. Like most years, I’ll be first to admit that 2016 started out on a “new year, new me” high. I started The Glow Up, made awkward YouTube videos, ate grass for dinner (I’m lying) and pretended to kill it. But somewhere down the road I let that little voice slip in again that told me I wouldn’t reach my goals. I started to believe my circumstances and not God’s promises.
Ya’ll…my soul was literally crawling to 2017 because it knew I needed a bounce back like never before. I needed that permanent glow up. So I spent the last week working on actionable goals and steps that I want to share with you. I just knew you needed your soul to glow too (not the jerry curl kind, though).
When thinking of this epic bounce back that had to happen within, one of my favorite movies instantly popped in my head –
Waiting To Exhale.
I started thinking about that movie and realized how necessary my bounce back had to happen. Although completely different situations, each woman went through very traumatic experiences that pushed them toward the ultimate bounce back. I could not let 2017 play me like Angela Bassett’s husband.
I COULD NOT.
I had to be on guard at all times. I also had to put in this authentic work to say yes to a life I’ve never fully had. I deserved it. YOU deserve it.
2017 couldn’t be a new year, new me lie. It had to be more than that. I had to make a statement to myself and to the world that I was made be great 100% of the time, not just 47%. I had to demand more.
I thought back to Waiting to Exhale again (and turned on my don’t need no man playlist for extra effect). If Whitney Houston could bounce back from being a side chick, then I could certainly bounce back from a coma of fear and procrastination.
It is no different for you too, homie. If Brittany Spears can bounce back from 2007, Steve Harvey from the Miss World Pageant mistake and Michelle from that cold day at 106 & Park…
THEN YOU FOR SUREEEE GOT THIS.
You may have gotten knocked down or even knocked yourself down in 2016 but everyone knows that the victory isn’t as sweet without a challenge to overcome. 2017 is your chance to lay the foundation for the rest of your life. Wanna know how? Here are 7 ways to get you started towards a stronger, wiser, more focused, slaying, you.
Stop Dwelling the Past
The damage is done, son.
Stick to Your Goals
Breh…how bad do you really want it? You have to get to a point to where you stop talking about your goals and start walking them out. Every year I have had this grandious list of goals I want to kill. While I’ve grown in so many ways, I always abandon my hardest goals that push me further from true happiness and that dream life.
Let’s be real for a moment. If we know that working hard, staying focused and having big goals are the keys to success…why do we suck so bad?
It is because you have no plan. No roadmap.
It is easy as pie to say you want to pay off your debt but without the right steps, you will never get there. Here is a formula that will help with your bounce back for real this time.
- Write your goal down. This will be the big picture that you always refer to when you get discouraged. Get as specific as possible and put dates on them. This will help you stay accountable by seeing an end day.
- EX: I want to lose 30 pounds by June 1, 2017
- Make sure this is a goal YOU want, not something to please others. If you are doing it for your boyfriend’s mama cousin and nem then you just don’t need to start.
- Brek. It. Down. Most people leave their goals at step one and wing it but you have to get laser focused to create lasting change. Break your goals down into actionable baby steps. This will eliminate the overwhelm and make it so much easier.
- EX: If I need to lose 30 pounds by June 1, I will have to lose at least 5 pounds per month and 1.25 pounds per week. I will look into activities and food plans that will keep me on track of that goal weight.
- Celebrate your wins. You WILL have days you slip up but every bounce back comes with a stronger you. A fighter. Always give yourself room to grow, fail, mess up, cry your eyes out, stop and start again.
Tell Your Thoughts to SHUUUUUT UP
One of my goals is to read one book per month and so I picked up Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. She drops so many gems but one that stood out to me was her struggle with losing weight.
After getting to an unrecognizable weight (you know it’s bad when you have to pull out the seat belt extender on a plane) she decided that she had to get control. She admitted that she HATED getting in shape. Sometimes we have to do the things that don’t feel comfortable to discover the life we say we want.
She really wrecked me because she said that we will always say yes to something whether we want to or not. In her case, if she got her body together she was saying yes to a healthy, more fulfilling life. But if she decided to make a quick stop to McDonald’s for their fries and sundae, she was also saying yes to an unhealthy lifestyle.
What have you said yes to by not saying anything at all? Where did the “I don’t feel like its” leave you last year?
It’s time to say yes to positive thinking. Stop whining that you don’t like your life when we you won’t put in the work to change.
- Practice: Every night before bed, write or say out loud your wins for the day. Say what you are grateful for and what you are most excited about. This will help you redirect those feelings of complacency and straight up doubt.
Work on Personal Appearance
Scientific studies literally prove that when you look good you feel good (don’t ask me the source just know it’s true, duh). How do you expect anyone to take you seriously when you don’t present yourself like a boss?
I used to be the laziest person around when it came to clothes. I loved a good shopping trip but I only seemed to be shopping for these imaginary events I was invited to and not my every day life. When it was time to show up I put in the effort but on my regular day-to-day I looked a mess.
When I looked at the people who inspired me, they always took the time to do their hair and at LEAST iron their clothes. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to want to know me or take me seriously because of my walking billboard. So I switched it up.
Practice: If you have no idea how to start revamping (or just putting effort) toward your look, make a folder on your phone and screen shot every outfit you like. This will help you get ideas when shopping and putting clothes together.
Be Around People You Love
WHY are we still around people who hold is back in 2017? Why?
If we want to truly be successful this year we have to be intentional about the people we choose to tell our dreams to. If you still have people in your life that put you down instead of lift you up, your bounce back will continue to buffer.
More than ever we have to be around people who pour into our spirit. If you answer yes to a majority of these questions below then it’s time get like OT Gensis and cut it.
- Do you dread seeing their name on your caller ID?
- Are your conversations with this person mentally draining?
- Do you have to hold back your thoughts with this person?
- Does this person seem to always attract drama?
- Do you only enjoy this person at social gatherings?
- Do they encourage you to make awful decisions?
- Are they very inconsistent in communication with you?
- Are they overly dependent on your friendship and can’t be alone?
- Are you tired of being sick and tired of being in this relationship?
Push Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone
Simply put…you have to go where they’ve never gone to do what they’ve never done. Push yourself, homie.
Take It Day by Day
One of my biggest mess ups last year was that I focused way too much on tomorrow. In the process of stressing about my long list of goals, I forgot to actually live many of them out.
Don’t obsess over tomorrow so much that you forget to live today.
Rome nor Beyonce was built in a day and neither will you. Take your wins, take your failures, and show the world why you were meant to have all that you deserve.
What God has for you no one can take away. Your path is already laid. You just have to walk that ish out. Now go.
Inhale. EXHALE. And get to it.
What are three goals you want to see come to pass? Leave a comment and tell me!
P.S. It feels soooo good to be back. To BOUNCE BACK. I can’t wait to walk this year out with you guys and I promise never to leave you all again. Make sure to sign up for my emails, I swear it gets lit every Wednesday morning. Love you. K, bye.