Just admit it already, being responsible and saving money is lame AF.
As much as you know you shouldn’t be swiping that card or ignoring Sallie Mae’s phone calls, you just can’t help but to sacrifice your bank account balance for a good time.
Yes, you’re tired of crawling to your paycheck each pay period. But scrolling past the happy hours and group travel trips on Instagram is met with legit doubt.
Is this even worth it?
Because right now going out with your friends sound much better than sitting at home thinking about all the people who are having fun without you.
You know you should be focused. But slowly you forget the commitment you made to chill out while you are digging yourself out of that money pit.
It’s a bad case of the FOMO’s (Fear of Missing Out), and you are on your death bed with it.
The Really Real Reality of Why People Suffer from FOMO
While on this journey to doing better, you’ve probably battled through these thoughts like me:
- It’s not fair that I have to do all this to save some coins.
- I feel really alone/ No one understands my decision.
- This takes WAY too much effort.
- I hope people don’t label me as the cheap friend or too serious.
- Meh, I’ll just try next time.
Sacrifice is hard. When I decided to go all in on saving and slaying the debt, I became really insecure about it.
I knew people thought I was doing the most. I felt so alone because each refresh of my Snapchat or Facebook feed reminded me that everyone was living the life – without me.
I was the girl that never missed a function. I had to be where the action was in case something amazing happened. You know like stuntin on some old haters, my exes or meeting a potential bae (especially for that).
So although I knew staying at home was smarter, it sucked.
But I’m not the only one. The truth is that most of us suffer when we feel that people are partaking in activities that exclude us.
In other words, ain’t nobody got time to be looking like a square and feeling outcasted like this:
What people suggest to cure FOMO (And why it doesn’t work)
From the time we wake up until the time we go to sleep, we swallow ourselves with what people are doing.
FOMO is a PEST because it tricks us. We start to feel guilty that we rather be out sharing appetizers instead of staring at another episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.
So what do people suggest to focus and fix this guilt?
Put ya phone down like my auntie Erykah says.
But that can’t be the ultimate solution. Yes, a social media break is healthy but completely ignoring the world is NOT going to erase your need to belong and have a good time. Those dancing selfies and overhead food shots will be waiting to destroy you as soon as you get back on.
5 Major keys to Staying Focused on your goal when FOMO appears
The gag is this: most experiences we feel that we absolutely can’t live without are the ones we regret wasting our time on. It’s not about limiting yourself altogether but to pick ways to create balance and peace when you see others having fun.
For mentally pep talking yourself into beast mode you can:
Get Turnt To a Personal Money Playlist
I have a playlist that can instantly lift my mood, no matter how much wine I’ve cried over that night.
Studies show that when we listen to certain music we love, our brain instantly releases the pleasure hormone dopamine.
For example, have you ever been in a club, holding up the wall or suffering in the corner because your heels have eaten the skin under your feet? It sucksss right? But when the DJ plays that perfect song (probs a hymn from our dearest Future), your state automatically changes.
At that point it doesn’t matter how boring it was or how bad your feet hurt. This is your jam and you’re ready to risk it all.
That’s exactly what your money playlist will do too. Pick out songs that will change your state so that you can begin to focus back on the goal.
Here’s a list to get you started:
Create a Wins Folder
To keep the momentum going, create a “wins” folder in your phone. As you start to see the numbers come down, screen shot the balance in your bank account and save it as a reminder that this ain’t your first rodeo.
This exercise is powerful because as you replay those wins in your head, they will become way more powerful than a burger slider on a Wednesday night.
It’s like a visual affirmation.
Instead of saying a positive sentence a thousand times you literally create a mental picture in your brain, which will shift your state back into grind mode to tackle the next goal.
This not only works for money but can work for literally anything. Save good emails from your boss or a text a friend sent saying how you helped them. These wins will show you why you are literally necessary to the world and money will just create the freedom to walk in that full time.
For walking that talk you talk you can:
Get Some Accountability That Works
It’s time to call the Glow Up Gang crew.
While it’s possible to walk this journey to greatness alone, it’s not as fun.
If you’re a person that needs the extra push when you feel yourself slipping, pick a friend or two to commit to this thing with you.
You know the invitations for the turn up will come so make a pact that you guys will balance the outings with fun (and cheaper) things like movie or game nights.
P.S. I’ve REALYYY been wanting to play this game Black Card Revoked so that may be a start, fa reals.
Trips, gifts and other rewards that make you go round
So the point of getting out of debt is not to live a miserable and dry life.
Contrary to what they try to tell you, cutting coupons for 10 packs of deodorant just isn’t the life I’m about.
I want unforgettable experiences. I want to shop it up at Topshop or indulge in a bomb restaurant by the ocean.
Doesn’t that sound legit?
Use your desire for amazing experiences to drive you to save. It’s a sacrifice but learn to be okay with missing a couple of concerts with the squad for the amazing benefits you will reap.
To do this, pick a really nice reward to yourself. For example when I knock out $13K on one of my student loans, I plan to buy a nice Michael Kors bag.
My ultimate goal is to pay my entire debt off by my 30th birthday so I’m already planning a dream trip to South Africa.
Pick your reward and work like crazy to finally experience it without guilt or having minor heart attacks when you see the damage you couldn’t afford.
To stay encouraged you can:
Stay Covered in “This Is How We Do It” Stories
The biggest thing that helps me stay focused during my massive FOMO outbursts are hearing how changing bad money (and life) habits drastically changed lives.
Taking control of finances literally allowed people to quit their awful jobs to chase their dream or donate crazy amounts to their favorite charity.
Don’t you want that freedom too?
I smother myself in these stories. Search podcasts, YouTube channels and even Instagram for people about this hustle life.
Some of favorites include:
Stop Letting FOMO Get In The Way of Your Stacks
I know it gets hard and the journey seems so confusing that you want to give up.
But here’s why you shouldn’t:
You are one step closer to freedom.
Just imagine. Now you can buy something you love without anxiously checking your bank balance. You can ditch the burden of going to work just to collect a check.
Getting control of all this is changing the game. It’s what no one else is doing and the fact that you are sticking with it shows you truly desire to see what you are made of.
You are NOT doing the most. Everyone struggles with FOMO but now you are fighting for peace and true happiness.
Isn’t that worth the sacrifice?