This past January I sat in my room with a low budget camera. (Like $99 at a Black Friday sale. Nobody was worried bout that thing). I had just started The Glow Up and wanted to do something fun. I remembered that my sorority’s anniversary was coming up and all the crazy stereotypes Deltas are known for (including eating lots of chicken and duck walking to the grocery store.) So I filmed the video, laughed at myself the entire time and edited. I had SO much fun making it. The authenticity in my video was real.
But then I started doubting myself immediately. It’s so funny because while I was creating the video I was just having fun. I didn’t give two fat nickels what anyone thought. But as I sat in silence, those little thoughts crept in my mind. I didn’t want to post it. What if I get laughed at? (errrmm wasn’t that the point Alaina?) Okay, so what if no one watches it? What if people think it’s corny?
PAUSE – Thought check: You are the master of your emotions. We walking around letting our emotions tell us what to do and how to feel. If we rely on how we feel at the moment then it will always stop us from being who we need to be.
I got my emotions in check, took a deep breath and posted it. I was so nervous that I watched it 50-leven times until I fell asleep. But what I woke up to? WHAT I WOKE UP TO? Thousands of views, crazy shares, comments, likes, erything.
It was the best feeling in the world that I had made people laugh. I made them relate and want to tell their brother, sister and half-cousin about it. I sat in “Girl you did that” all week. To this day that video on Youtube still gets views. Almost up to 22k. I WENT MINI VIRAL ya’ll. And it never happened again.
Why wasn’t I able to make more engaging content?
When I saw how well that video did I doubted myself. I would say “oh, it’s because of the topic not because I’m talented.” I tried to do another video but it wasn’t me and just plain sucked. Look at the difference on views for Youtube:
21 views lmao. Authenticity matters. For the life of me I wasn’t able to catch a case of the Do You Boo because I was standing in my own way. We spend so much time trying to be the person we “think” we should be that we lose ourselves. That’s why my video after the Delta one was poop. It’s why I feel insecure about blogging most of the time.
We see other people and want to be like them so bad. We study their ways and start to mimic their habits. But it puts a ridiculous expectation on who we think we should be vs. who we actually are. It’s why I’ve failed and why a lot of times people don’t connect to my message. My goal is to go viral again and again one day. I’m working through authenticity in my own work and being vulnerable at this very moment. So let me give you some ways to find authenticity in your life so that you release the pressure to be perfect:
STOP *claps* CARING*claps* ABOUT *claps* THEM *claps* HATERS
Sigh. Why do we let people run the way we think about ourselves? It’s why I open my Snapchat story 10 times a day to see who watched it. It’s why I struggle with putting myself out to the dating world again. It’s blatantly a basic ass assumption that you are a mind reader. Now are you Ms. Cleo? Didn’t think so. So stop trying to predict how people are going to judge you and start building up your strength to not give a flip.
Ignorance is unavoidable. Haters are going to hate regardless of what you do so you might as well do the things that make you happy. I know it’s easier said than done but I’m learning that there is much freedom in living for yourself and no one else.Ignorance is unavoidable. Click To Tweet
Exercise: Write down 5 things you know to be true about yourself. Feel in the blankity blanks below:
- I am most happy when _________.
- People mostly say I’m good at_______________.
- And don’t say “no one says I’m good at anything” because I’ll know you’re lying
- One thing I love about myself is that _____________.
- If I had one free day I would spend it doing _____________.
- I have to get up and twerk when __________comes on
See. Look how dope you are. You have to find the core to your happiness and go to that truth every time the thoughts of haters run through your mind. Try identifying those happy facts about you this week.
Hey, Your Insecurity is Showing
One thing that stops me from having authenticity is that I forget my story. I forget who I am and what I’ve achieved. In the moment of “please like me or I’ll die right here” I forget that I’m the bomb with or without their approval. *3 snaps in a circle* Ways to be authentic to people and bring peace within yourself is to remember who you are.
Exercise: Write your story on paper.
Who are you really? What struggles did you overcome? What achievements have you made. Looking back on this will help you build confidence and strength in very insecure times
Honestly, Truly You’re Doing Tew Much
You know I love me some Joanne the Scammer. Anywhoo back to focusing…
We are so dang busy. Busy going to work. Busy studying. Busy entertaining people we don’t like. And in this busyness we lose the core of who we are. Now that we are starting to identify that core I want you to choose a day this week to do something (without interruption) that will clear your head space of all the crap you fill in it.
Getting creative and clarity about who you are is what drives passion. It’s what drives you to discovering your purpose and who wouldn’t want to take time to do that, right? Saying you’re too busy to take a break from the world is saying that your future and well being is worth two Trump votes. Some BS, that’s what you’re saying. Some ways to take a break can be –
- Sitting in the park reading a book
- Taking a mini staycation. Rent a room at a hotel in town and just relax
- Dinner for one at your favorite restaurant
- Diving into a new show with wine
Fill Yourself with Wisdom
Lastly, I think it is so important to fill your brain and heart up with encouragement. From motivational speeches to books, I have to do this daily to get the drive to stay true to myself. I want to share some of the things and people that have been helping me so much.
- I wrote a post about 3 books that were definitely helping me in my journey. Check it out here.
- “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2. Cor. 12:10
- “How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?” – John 5: 44
- “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden…In the same way, let your light shine before men…” Matthew 5:14 -16
And there you have it. Stop pretending guys, it’s no fun. I created a cool idea sheet of 17 things you can do to discover your authenticity. You want it? It’s yours if you sign up below. Love ya’ll. STAY TRUE BOO.