“What’s been up with you?”
I feel like this is a mandatory question in the catch up with a friend handbook. I’ve tried to make my life seem more interesting but unfortunately I usually come up with this:
Wait, you think I’m joking? I literally say this verbatim every time:
I didn’t mean to be boring. It kind of just happened.
I drowned into the same, predictable routines. Wake up, work my 9-5, go home, waste evenings tearing up some food and binging on TV. (I may throw in an occasional workout class or two to not feel guilty).
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Although some cool things occasionally happened to me, I got accustomed to describing my life as boring to:
A). Sit down, be humble
B). Distract myself from the exciting milestones of people around me
You see, it became easier to describe my life as boring when everyone was having kids, getting engaged, receiving promotions, graduating and traveling all over.
As I got caught up in the big milestones of others, my loathe for my own “boring” life continued to grow and grow.
Could it be that you are comparing your life to people who secretly settled?
I heard someone say this and dropped my jaw. We stay comparing our journey to people who may be secretly suffering with the decisions they brag about.
So how did I deal? I wasted a lot of time.
I wasted time trying to fill those boring holes by entertaining men.
“At least your phone ain’t dry,” they said.
I wasted time with people who didn’t care about improving themselves.
“At least you’re out the house,” they said.
I wasted many mornings and nights scrolling through the lives of others instead of improving my own.
And day by day, I drifted further from who I am by believing my boring life was insignificant. I accepted that being mediocre wasn’t all that bad.
The actual truth is that my life had been boring because I had allowed it to be.Life is boring because we allow it to be Click To Tweet
Although I still hit up the club, the happy hours, the social events, had the long phone calls, the refreshed timeline of The Shaderoom; my soul was convinced that I just wasn’t that special to do anything great.
Why I Am Finally Reclaiming My Time From Being Boring
This week, my friend Calah and I hollered as Maxine Waters created the ultimate clapback of 2017. Smoothly interrupting Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin from distracting her, she snatched him together by constantly stating that she was reclaiming her time when he would start drifting off topic.
Calah and I began to talk and realized that there were actually a bajillion things we honestly needed to reclaim our time from.
We teamed up to talk about areas that we’ve wasted time (check out her post tomorrow on unmet expectations. She went there, trust that).
It hurt me to face the fact that I thought my life was without purpose because I had not experienced any “big moments” in awhile.
I was waiting on these crazy things to happen but the truth is that my miracles were actually in the boring moments. When I started drifting off into other distractions it stopped me from taking advantage of the time I had to grow myself.
31 Ways to Stop Snoozing on Your Life and Create an Incredible One
Why is life so boring when big things aren’t happening?
I believe that in the boring season, God wants to strip us of things that will not add value to our lives. Like preparing for a championship, He places us in isolation so that we can get ready for those big wins.
Have you even been practicing?
You not gonna win if you don’t practice. You’re not gonna be able to avoid the tricks and plays of the other teams if you don’t study the game.
We are so used to dysfunction or attention that when God finally gives us the quiet moments to grow and heal, we describe them as boring. Nothing exciting. Stale as some old chips.
The truth is that the boring days are what adds to our lives, not take away. When we realize how valuable this season is, we will RECLAIM THAT TIME.
Stop wasting your opportunity to grow. Stop ignoring the pull to understand yourself and God’s will for you in deeper ways. I know you haven’t fully taken advantage of it. You ain’t gotta lie [to yourself], Craig.
If you are ready to love your “boring” season, here are 31 things you can do to start creating a more meaningful life during the wait:
- Pray daily, seek God first: This truly awakens you if you seek God genuinely. He speaks when you finally decide to stop talking.
- Honor your passions: Commit to doing one thing that brings you joy and simply do it for fun. I personally like learning songs word for word so I can yell them at concerts. High key need to go to Trap Karaoke still.
- Create a bucket list and start completing it: We play so small in the boring season. Start going after what gives you life.
- Remove distractions that harm your peace: I am currently cleansing from certain music and shows. When you constantly feed yourself with trash it alters your state and mind.
- Walk away from toxic relationships: This is IMPERATIVE in this season. Toxic people will easily manipulate you into drama and bad decisions and you are so “bored” that you will entertain it.
- Laugh more, worry less: My go-to laughs are Lil Duval’s rendition of Musiq Soulchild’s Just Friends, K-CI and JoJo on Tom Joyner and the lady on the martyr train. Don’t @ me.
- Chase wisdom: You can NOT grow if you are not constantly searching for wisdom. The best book ever is the Bible. Check Proverbs.
- Plan a staycation: I did this two weeks ago and it just rejuvenated my spirit to be in total silence. I watched sermons. Wrote in my journal. Prayed. Ate CiCi’s (again, don’t @ me), and did all the things I had been neglecting in self care. It’s okay to be alone.
- Read books that add value to your growth: Books have been my saving grace. Currently, I’m on The Richest Man in Babylon and Think and Grow Rich.
- Learn to forgive yourself and others: Release the chains you’ve been in by forgiving yourself and others for mistakes in the past. *Warning. This may come without closure from the other person.
- Cleanse your social media timelines: Unfollow people who post and retweet trash. It is so easy to start doubting and feeling all over the place by just one negative post.
- Avoid negative self talk: Some people say negative things about them selves for fun but it’s not funny though. Speak love and life into yourself. I suggest creating some affirmations you can say when you feel unsure of yourself.
- Join a community/group in your city: I personally started going to Zumba again and truly love body rolling to Fetty Wap and screaming OHKAYYY.
- Goal set: We literally have FOUR MONTHS left in 2017. What can you get done? I promise it’s still possible. Start with goals for the month.
- Journal your journey: Journaling not only frees my mind from all the crazy thoughts in my head but it’s key on measuring my growth. I love looking back at my journals from college (you already know I was a hot mess).
- Find someone to pour into you and someone you can pour into: I saw this in a post but make it a mission to find one person that is where you want to be and build a relationship. On the flip side, find someone to mentor and help (look at YMCA’s, church, family & friends, etc.)
- Clean up your debt, people: You should already know my stand on this. Here’s how I’m breaking my paychecks to paycheck lifestyle.
- Throw away clutter in your home: I truly believe the clutter in your house can reflect the clutter in your mind. Clean up your room at least. Let some order in.
- Strengthen your body: When we don’t feel good, it directly affects our self confidence. Get moving. (Again, body rolling in Zumba for me)
- Guard your mind and your heart: This really should be #2. Guard your mind and heart from trash. Stop entertaining people who have the potential to hurt you. It’s so important to watch what speaks into you.
- Do something brave: Is there something you’ve wanted to do but terrified? GO DO IT. It’s going to build confidence and esteem. I personally want to sing in front of an audience for the first time. I sing to instrumentals in my car, already haha.
- Take time off social media: Social can be tew much and we tend to compare ourselves the more we obsess over it. Take breaks, drink water.
- Be a kid again: I LOVE getting back in a kid like state. It reminds me of peace and just living carefree. I could make anything fun in “boring” situations. Go build a fort or eat a lunchable.
- Be stingy like Ginuwine with your time: Stop wasting your time doing things you hate or throw the night away on the phone. Start replacing it with things that bring true value to you.
- Learn how to whip it real good: Oh geez I’m talking about food, calm down.
- Donate/sell all clothes that make your feel hella insecure (see what I did there): Even that shirt from the 12th grade. It has holes in the sleeves and looks yellow now, not white. If you don’t look in the mirror, say OOOO and wipe you down, then toss it.
- Create a self-love playlist for times you need it most: Must include Michael Jackson and some black cookout tunes to dance to.
- Don’t be tardy for the party: Being late is found to show that you may be disorganized or just not serious enough about where you’re going. Take it seriously and develop the discipline.
- Have a photoshoot. *Gucci voice*: Find a photographer friend (we all have one these days) and take some photos for a boost and some new profile pictures.
- Set your intention for the day: Every morning, write the things you want to accomplish that day. They may not all get done but you are practicing telling your day where to go instead of it always slapping you around.
- Seek love and be grateful: Take some time to recognize all the amazing blessings you experience each day. Even the small ones. Love yourself, love your flaws. And if you don’t know how then you are in the perfect season to find out.
When you learn to love your boring life, you realize it’s not a boring life at all. It’s the season of possibility, of change, of THE GLOW UP.
I challenge you to try some things on this list and stop looking at what everyone else is doing.
Your big moments are coming too but only if you prepare for them right now.